me: (mouth full of salty heaven): Hey boyfriend I think we need to detox, the couch definately feels smaller this week
the bird (mid tv worship) hmmmm honey
me: It will be great we will be full of energy and happy and our skin will be shiny and our hair will be shiny and everything will feel better and all we have to do is cut out wheat sugar dairy booze and anything remotely delicious for 2 weeks, it will be a blast come on we will do it together team work like when we did the argus remember
the bird (still engrossed in the worshipping) hmmm honey your hair is lovely
me: ll take that as a yes
Well let me tell you kids. THIS IS HELL. Riding the argus on a flipping push bike is easier than this hippie cr@p. It has been 5 days of sugarless, boozeless, dairyless, wheatless hell well atleast in hell they feed you dry bread and water do you know what I would give for bread right now? From the moment I offered the bird his bowl of grated carrots and lemon juice for breakfast the we part turned into just me alone on the island of my detox. Atleast there are coconuts and sunshine on islands, here there is nothing wild bouts of emotional hanger (When you are so hungry you are angry) and resentment toward anyone who is happy, smiling, eating ice cream and making food that smells nice but isnt on Hitlers detox plan. Detox sucks.